But really, Muse Dash is fairly single-minded: hit buttons in time to some music This is fairly consistently bad throughout the game. “Magical Girl Marija’s increasing speed of Fever is 20% faster?” I played a not-insignificant amount of this game and I honestly have no idea what the fuck that means. If that doesn’t make you uncomfortable, at least recognize that the translations are pretty bad. God, I can’t fucking believe I had to type that for you. Yep, that’s a giant, bouncing, anime butt showing off an upskirt panty shot with a strategically placed magical broom between her legs. Muse Dash is incredibly loud in its presentation That is honestly all there is to this game.
Play songs to level up, level up to unlock new songs, characters, and ability-granting familiars. Each level is a song, each song has three difficulties of increasingly complex button patterns to master. Press both buttons to hit enemies that are linked from ground to air. Hold the correct button when a star with a color trail shows up and release when the trail ends. Press the buttons in time with the music, with the right button hitting things on the ground and the left one launching you upwards to hit things in the air. There are two buttons: one for the right hand and one for the left.
When you first start playing Muse Dash, the tutorial comes at you quickly and furiously. Muse Dash is the game that answers the question, “What if Dance Dance Revolution was played with two buttons and was also a thirsty, anime sidescroller?” I don’t know that anyone was asking that question, but here we are nonetheless.
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